My beautiful baby boy is 9 months old today. I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't tell my husband Barret, "This baby is amazing." He is the biggest blessing that has ever come into our lives. We are forever changed. Today, I am finally making myself sit down and write his birth story. I can't believe it has been 9 months. It seems like it just happened. Here it is, long overdue, the birth story of our precious baby boy.
Saturday, July23rd, 2011 at around 11:30pm my husband and I were laying in bed. I felt a pop and next thing I know, water is just gushing out of me! I always wondered what it would feel like and it felt so weird! Barret was right next to me so he felt the water and we were both freaking out for a few seconds until we realized what is was. My contractions started right after that. I contacted Sally and she told me to eat something and try to sleep through the beginning contractions. I drank a protein drink and shortly after I projectile vomited all over our bed while Barret was bringing me a trashcan. That had never happened to me before but apparently all the hormones can make you nauseous! After that I tried to sleep which felt impossible because I was so nervous, excited and scared. Nervous- Am I doing everything I'm supposed to be doing? Am I going to miss something? Excited- The moment we've been waiting for is finally here, let's get this party started and meet our baby boy! Scared- What did I get myself into? There's no going back! This baby is coming whether I like it or not! Am I ready? Am I going to be able to do this?
Sally, our midwife, came shortly after in the wee hours of the morning. I was such a nervous first time mama and I was so relieved once she was there with me. She came and put me in bed and although I didn't really sleep I was able to rest for a little bit. Sometime during my resting in the bedroom, Heather, our second midwife, had joined the birthing crew. Within a few hours, laying down was very uncomfortable and it felt so much better to recline and rock in our glider chair. I don't think I have ever been so appreciative for a piece of furniture in my life! That chair was so comfortable. It still is, but it was heaven during contractions! I kept a heat pack behind my lower back and Barret kept warming it up when it got cool. I also spent some time on the medicine ball and sitting on the toilet seat backwards but both got to be quite uncomfortable as time went on because it helped the baby come down and made the pressure more intense. Better for birth, harder for mama. I found it hard to eat solid food other than a few bites of fruit and a blueberry muffin. Barret was so helpful bringing me protein drinks and Gatorade and getting me to drink them. He was so great during the birth. He was so helpful and attentive. It helped so much when he would rub my lower back. At some point they filled up the birthing tub that was in our living room. The birthing tub was amazing! My main focus during contractions was to try and relax through them and let my body do the work. The soft worship music playing through the house and the birthing tub both helped. I remember that I didn't talk much during the labor. I just remember breathing. I would breathe in and then breathe out slowly making an long exhale noise. The breathing really helped me stay calm. Instead of focusing on the pain of contractions I focused on breathing and making that exhale sound. I can't describe how hearing myself make that sound helped calm me but it did. It was like a constant and steady rhythm through the whole birth, except for the pushing of course. I also think it helped everyone know where I was at and how I was doing. It was a means of communicating when I didn't feel like talking.
Towards the end, I remember being in the birthing tub and feeling the urge to push. At first it happened a few sporadic times followed periods of regular contractions. Then finally it came time to push the baby out. No one told me to push. I didn't make myself push. My body just knew to push and it did. It was the most amazing and relieving thought that I didn't have to figure out when to push. I couldn't somehow miss it. My body knew when to give birth and the time was now. I was so excited at this point because I had been in slow and steady labor for 23 hours! When it was time to push, it felt like I woke up and had an energy boost out of nowhere. I was so excited! Finally after 23 hours of being uncomfortable and wondering if I was wrong, maybe the baby isn't coming right now (oh yes, I thought that) the end was finally in sight! I remember looking around and seeing everyone else with that same energy. It was like the room woke up. We were all in tune with the birth and it was time. The pushing was definitely the most painful but it almost seemed easier for me because I was motivated that we were near the end and I was about the meet my baby boy. I remember when he was crowing, Sally asked me if I wanted to feel his head, and I said no. I just wanted to keep going! I was ready to get that baby out! It took one push for his head and one more for his body. With the help of Sally, Barret caught Braden and immediately handed him to me. I still remember that special moment. It makes me cry typing this. It was so special! I remember looking at him and thinking, "Wow. This is what you look like. You are the little one that has been in my tummy all this time. I am your mommy." It was so intimate and beautiful. He let out his first cry. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was so small and so perfect. I was just able to hold him in the tub. Everything was calm and I really felt like everyone respected that moment. I will never forget it. Barret was able to cut the umbilical cord. I remember how proud he was of me as I labored hour after hour, how excited he was when I was pushing and when the baby was crowing, and then the moment when he caught the baby and we met our little guy for the first time. It's like nothing else in the world.
Braden Matthew Miller was born at 12:48am on July 25th, 2011 at 6 pounds 8 ounces, 20 inches.
I loved the whole experience. I was surrounded by so much support. I had my loving husband by my side and two midwives that believed in me even during the moments when I wasn't sure I believed in me! I remember it was so encouraging to hear Sally say, "You are doing a great job." "This is what your body was meant to do." "You can do this." I remember looking at her and asking, "Am I doing okay?" just to hear her tell me again that I was doing great. Sally and Heather were so attentive, patient and kind. No one demanded anything of me. I was allowed to go through the whole birthing process and just focus on my breathing and pray. No one demanded I talk, smile or tell them anything. It's like I knew they were all there but I was able to focus on my birthing journey. They were okay being the background and letting the birth take the spotlight. The experience was so amazing in the sense that I had to face so many fears and unknowns and in the end we received the most precious gift. It was such a beautiful experience I was able to share with Barret. He was able to be my main support and help through the whole thing which made it very special for both of us. I am so happy that we chose to do a natural home water-birth and I cannot imagine a better or more qualified midwife than Salli. She was truly a blessing from God. I will forever treasure the experience of birthing Braden.
-Magan Miller 4/25/12
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