Jessica's Story

My First Home Water Birth

In honor of my midwife Salli Gonzalez who assisted me in my life altering experience we named our son after her son Gabriel Alejandro. I also want to mention that childbirth is NOT the most painful experience. Well at least not for me. It was painful yes but it was so much more than that. It was the most intense feeling ever but I wouldn't call it painful. I honestly was shocked the pain didn't get worse. It was like period cramps and as long as you followed your body's cues it goes so smoothly. At first I was fighting my body. I was tightening and was afraid to push. Then with much reassurance from my wonderful midwife I was finally able to push. I wish I could explain how it felt. I have no words for the sensations. But painful wouldn't be one of them. The only pain I felt was a cold ache. My mind and body was in a completely different place. It was the most life altering experience I have ever had. I never thought I could do that. I was going to wimp out and head to the hospital but after reassurance from my wonderful friend Melissa Sheree I sucked it up and called my midwife instead of running scared. I was scared because I thought the pain would get worse. It never did. I started contracting at 8:12am and I just knew I was in labor. I don't know how I knew but I did. My whole body was telling me it was time. I called my doula, midwife, and mother in law and said I am 1000% sure I'm in labor. Now I know what they mean when they say you will just know you're in labor. By the time my midwife got there I was already 9 cen and I was so proud of myself. We got into the birth tub and I was scared of pushing because I thought I would poop. So I was just giving tiny pushes. Again my wonderful midwife and doula reassured me that I would not poop and to follow through with the sensation. I finally did and that's when everything went to the next level. When I was pushing I felt no pain. I wasn't seeing anything in front of me. I was visualizing my son coming down and out. My mind and body were completely on their own. They were doing what they knew to do and I had no control. I gave up the control and they took over. It was completely amazing. My water never broke. It didn't break until he came out. He came out in one push. He came out so fast that my midwife and hubby tried to catch him but they missed him. He floated up between my legs and I pulled him to my chest. He was born at 12:23pm weighing 7 pounds and 8 ounces and is 20 inches long. I have never felt such powerful emotions at once. Relief, joy, pride, and everything together. I wanted to cry. Would I do it again? I think I might. It was so empowering. I never knew I could do it. Now I see myself in a whole new light. I don't mean to sound big headed but I am still in shock that I did it myself. I never had a bloody show or water breaking to tell me labor was upcoming. I will try to upload pictures as soon as possible. Hubby used the digital camera and it won't let me transfer them to the computer without erasing them all. Thank you for all the support and congratulations. I have such a wonderful group of friends. We are doing wonderful and he is a great breastfeeder.

New Baby Blues

A wise woman once gave me excellent advice after I lamented about having to be awakened from a dead sleep to feed my baby one more time. She was wise, because her advice was: if you consider getting up in the night with your baby a privilege instead of a chore, you will actually be able to actually enjoy that time that you have with her.

"A privilege"? Mmmm.

I thought about that statement. Yes, it truly is a privilege to be able to cuddle and snuggle those tiny ears, that tiny neck. It's truly a privilege to smell that heavenly odor that only newborns have. It's truly a privilege to know that you are that babies soul source of life. Truly a privilege.

I was a young mama then. Now I am much older and hopefully wiser. Now my babies are grown and mostly gone. Now I find myself wishing for those times back.

I was able to see that wise woman's perspective from that point on and this was the beginning of my quest to seek a gentler approach to nighttime parenting. I brought my baby to bed with me and was able to actually get more sleep in the long run because I wasn't getting up and waking up fully to walk to her room. This led to, of course, nighttime parenting all my babies from that time forward. They have grown in to healthy well adjusted young ladies and gentlemen.

Of course, it wasn't always easy. I would be the first to admit that. I hope, though, that I imparted some hope to a struggling, tired mama out there.
Blessings.

Mother's Love

My friend Ginni posted a link recently to a story about a mother's hug reviving one of her twin babies that had been pronounced dead. It was such a beautiful story. As I watched the video I was reminded that the incredible power of a mother's touch should not be underestimated.

Which is why I do what I do. As a midwife I have valued the importance of mommy and baby staying together and not separated after birth. Maybe it's because I myself was a preemie and at 2 1/4 lbs. only given a 50/50 chance of survival. Maybe, since my mother was not allowed to hold me, touch me or even SEE me during the time of my recovery that I feel such a profound sense of longing for mothers to be able to hold, touch, smell, stroke, nurture their babies DIRECTLY out of the womb.

It's only been recently that doctors have taken the time to recognize this profound and truly vital step in the birthing process. Indeed, many doctors and nurses on the delivery floor still do not. The first step for them is to put the baby in the warmer and begin to poke and prod them, sticking them with vaccine needles, roughing them up with abrasive cloths. Then whisk them away to the nursery for several hours of observation and more poking and prodding and roughing up, then to only ignore their cries for their mommy until "feeding" time. I've seen my share of hospital birth - it's not pleasant.

What is pleasant, what is so awesome, what is so amazing to witness, is to see a newly born baby
as he emerges from his mother's womb, going directly into the envelope of his mother's arms. Drawn up by her onto her chest into the very bosom that will feed him, protect him, warm him for the next several months of his new life. Words cannot describe what it means to me. Think about what it must mean to the baby. For 9 months, this baby has been in a state of constant bliss, not knowing hunger, not knowing cold, not knowing rough handling. What better transition for him, but to be drawn to his mother immediately upon entry into this world, to be able to continue to feel his mother's touch, taste her, smell her. Think of it.

The mother/baby dyad is that powerful. A mother's love is undeniable and truly irreplaceable.

To view the video: Mom's Hug Revives Baby Pronounced Dead

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