Copied by permission from Mary's Blog Spot:
The Sugar MountainA Birth Story
Its about time I get this done. Heidi turned 4 months old last week and I still haven't taken the time to write out her birth story...Enough Procrastinating! From almost the moment I saw the two lines on the test telling me I was positively pregnant I knew I would make the very best of the coming months and my baby's birth. In fact, the birth story of Heidi may as well begin where Gavin's ended. His birth, minus the epidural and plus one doula), was rather standard for today's American delivery. Induction (at the request of an anxious doctor), nurses hovering around, masked faces, fetal monitoring machines strapping me to a hard bed, my perfectly healthy and alert son rolled away to the nursery for two hours..."its routine" the tart little nurse reminded me. The tearing...the blinding lights...the 48 hours my husband I spent in a cold room...the lack of privacy...the nurse who told me I "may not sleep with my baby." While the result, a beautiful and healthy son, could not be more of a pleasure, it was the experience as a whole that had me longing for something more...something gentler for the next one I was carrying. And with that first confirmation that life was inside me I began my quest for just that. At 12 weeks pregnant with Heidi I went to the OB that delivered Gavin. I still had some lingering fears about my body's ability to go in to labor with out induction and also I hadn't quite decided that an out-of-hospital birth would be safe enough. I knew however that the ball was entirely in my court and I prompted my initial appointment with a list of requests for my doctor- could I labor in water? could I go home immediately after birth? -No, no,and more no's were her responses. I felt denied of my rights and my child's rights. The helplessness I felt at that time was just enough to remind me of the out of control feeling that I had during the birth of Gavin. I was reminded to stay certain in my own body and to know that while hospitals and doctors do have a special place in making births, particularly the complicated ones, safer-that I was going to trust in God, myself, my baby and my midwives to bring a baby in to the world. I asked myself then "Would I really subject myself and this child to a medical environment that denies a mother of the natural and wholesome birth I so desired?" The answer was no... With that I turned to an dearly loved friend and the woman who had been the wonderful birth advisor to me during my pregnancy and l&d of Gavin. Salli, my doula with Gavin, had since become certified in midwifery. And with that things began to fall in to place quickly. She and a group of very highly esteemed midwives at the San Antonio Birth Center were hired! Much like the pregnancy with Gavin, Heidi's was easy. The difference was mostly emotional. I cherished the moments when she kicked and squirmed twice as much. I knew, because of the experience of Gavin, that these times were fleeting. And even though I took the time to enjoy her movements and imagine her often it seems to have gone by in a flash. By 35 weeks I had asked to be checked for progress by my midwife. The excitement of hearing I was dilated and that my cervix had thinned out was wonderful! I had made a great effort to use as many natural aides to help me move along...a raspberry leaf tea, an herbal tincture, walking, pineapple and even telling myself to open...If you think it is odd that I would "think" the baby out than I should clarify that this wasn't the only time I used positive meditation and had pleasing results- to help her turn from a complete breech position I tried some suggested positions and I told Heidi to turn (she turned then) and when I wanted labor to get going almost a week after her due date I told her it was okay to come out (she came out then) and during labor when I felt things needed a little push (pardon the pun) I told her to descend now (she descended then). It is my belief that in a completely non- medical birth that a mother can truly tap in to the powers of meditation and guiding thoughts, if you will. For the days leading up to the labor I slept incessantly. For hours a day I napped- morning and evening and then I would sleep 11 hours at night. The day of the evening I went in to full labor I took an hour and half long nap on the couch in the morning while Gavin watched cartoons. As soon as Corbin pulled in the driveway I was passing off Gavin again so I could retreat for a second hour and half long nap. The tiredness was beyond me or anything I could deny. I also ate- A LOT! Mostly bready food, but it was quite obvious- this carbo-load of a marathoner's porportions was going to help me get somewhere. That night after Corbin and I lovingly put Gavin to bed for the night, my contractions began to get some power. We sat together, tired from the day and watched the news. Corbin made a joke. I didn't think it was funny. And with that, I knew this was something. I called Salli shortly thereafter. "Get a beer. Get in the bath." she said. And so it was done and I was glad for it. A moment to close the door in a candle lit bathroom with a nice frothy beverage- alone with my unborn child and wondering if this was false labor but deep down knowing that this was really it. And one thing I learned then is that men have this instinct too! For weeks, with both of my labors, but so often with Heidi's pregnancy, I would call Corbin at work and tell him "Somethings different! I think maybe tonight is the night!" Usually he would pass it off but this night, with out me even telling him much, he was in labor-mode- and I mean, the man was full-on nesting! From behind the bathroom door I could hear the vacuum cleaner running in the house- ten PM and my husband is vacuuming- baby IS coming! Salli showed up shortly after as did Corbin's parents. I am amazed looking back, at the level of personal care provided by Salli- and the other midwives. She lives in another town-Seguin, TX- about a thirty minute drive away and at ten PM she offered to come over and check me for dilation and at the least, just rub my back for me if it wasn't labor. Thank goodness it was though! Shortly after she walked in the door- well, actually, as soon as I laid eyes on her, my first true contraction happened. I mean "true" as in the first one that brought me to my knees and made me say "Its real this time and lets get ahead of this- lets manage this and you are strong Mary!" How beautiful is that- the way the body works in unison with the mind is fascinatingly beautiful. When I saw Salli I felt "safe" and "ready to let go" and with that my true labor began. She checked me right then on my bed. My room looked beautiful to me then. I wanted to stay there for the birth. I was amazed to hear her say I was already 6 or 7 cm and 100% effaced. I had literally slept through my early labor. It had probably been going on over the course of the last couple days and while I slept and mowed through our pantry, I was well on my way to having Heidi.
I didn't waste anytime getting myself to the car. Corbin drove, his mother in the back seat, his father watching over Gavin at home- my parent's on the way, Renee on the way, my photographer on the way- all the other midwives on the way- Salli driving behind us...everyone in route to the birth center. The desolate highway gave me peace. When we arrived, again, my mind- the umpire of the game said "safe!" and labor kicked it up a notch. The front seat, where I had only a few contractions while we drove the fifteen minutes to the BC, seemed like a mile from the front door. A midwife named Jennifer greeted me at the car door. "Do you want to have this baby in the car?" She couldn't be sure I wasn't about to have my baby on the floor bed and while it might have been a tough love kind of question it was excellent timing. It sort of pissed me off, just enough to make me get off my butt and move it to the door of the BC. Those contractions that happened about five minutes apart on the car ride came only two or three minutes apart now. The inside of the BC was a great place of solace. The bath was being prepared for me from the moment I walked in. I undressed myself and stepped in. The relief was overwhelming. The pressure was eased and I could catch my breath. For the first hour or so I kept my head pushed down in to either a towel or Corbin's lap on the side of the tub. He and the other midwives shared turns massaging my back and quietly offering me water or food. It was as if everyone watched over me- sending me powerful affirmations with their presence while trying not to interrupt the steadiness of my labor with their noises. Only occasional whispers, the sound of flowing water and the music I brought with me playing softly in the corner were audible. In such an emotional place where the senses are so powerfully present it is easy for them to be aggravated- I found most of my peace in sound- be it lack of it or the existence of it. The camera of the photographer was at first very bothersome, the overly enthusiastic "hello" from my mother was not taken well either (granted she had no idea how seriously deep in to labor I was when she arrived and she soon realized and became a quiet, but wonderfully pleasant presence)- the sound of sirens passing in the night made me open my eyes and think "they should come and get me- take me to the nearest epidural!" but the feeling went away as fast as the speeding ambulance. The music was the CD that I rocked Gavin to bed to every night for the many months before labor. Two songs brought me to tears. The whimpering noises I made soothed me. For I spent the majority of the labor in silence so it was indeed a notable moment. I pictured Gavin as he would be when I was rocking him. I imagined him lying curled up in his crib, hugging the bumper..dreaming sweet dreams about balloons and playgrounds. Peace.
photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
At some point the head midwife, Alissa, a very knowing and experienced presence was sitting very hands off and quiet at the end of the tub. She had been watching over me from a distance and asked me to check myself to feel the for Heidi's head. I did and the smooth feeling of the bag around her head was only as far as my half of my pointer finger- an inch or so. I had not pushed and the baby was already well on her way out. The body is incredibly powerful when left to do the work uninterrupted. She asked if I wanted to push and with a few contractions I tried but the effort was highly uncomfortable. Alissa had known that from previous appointments when I was checked that my cervix was still not in the proper position. For some, the midwives and doctors will manually reach in and move it (ouch!) but Alissa suggested I move from the only position I'd tried (squatting against the tub) to floating on my back. The change was welcomed. My legs got a rest and now my mother came behind me to hold my arms as I began to push. No other leverage was needed. I felt the calmness around me...my mother in law and Renee on the couch behind me, the newborn nurse (Christy) prepping in the corner of my eye, Alissa still seated ahead of me (her queenly placement- perched on the chair) gave me peace, Salli's reassuring looks, Jennifer's soft but still a little bit tough presence and last but surely not least- Corbin who was the rock I needed most of all. That I can remember, I was only checked by a midwife for dilation twice during labor- once at the house and once while in the tub- 9 cm was the reading for the second check. 
photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
Surrounded by Care
Clockwise starting at the bottom left: Jennifer, Salli, Alissa, Christy and Corbin
photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
At first, the pushing was not entirely comfortable. The pain I felt was not disabling but my midwives asked me to push through it. The lip of my cervix was likely in the way. "Push past the pain," one of them reminded me. With only a few pushes my water broke. The sound of it resonated through out me- I physically heard it- no one else did. We all saw it though. A greyish cloud that dissipated in the tub. I remember clearly the smiles- especially Corbin's when shortly after that the crown of Heidi's head became visible. Corbin, who when I met him was quick to be queasy at the sight of bloodiness, had participated as much as possibly allowed by the hospital in Gavin's birth- he'd taken a peek as he crowned and he cut the cord- not to mention, he had watched dozens of live births in our natural birthing classes- the kind that show everything and some. With Heidi though, he was going to play an even bigger role. Just as I had this opportunity to be more hands on with my labor (quite literally when I was prompted to check her descent with my own hands) now Corbin was going to "catch" her. I found this to be incredibly fitting given that he, in probably not the most eloquent words, put her in there and now he would bring her out. Sexuality is often spoken about among women who desire for and have unmedicated births. It can have just as powerful of a role in bringing babies out as it does it making them. Some women even report having orgasms during labor. During pre-labor with Heidi my body, with out anything sexual occurring, was having waves of warmth and tingling overcoming it. It is not a phenomenon- during pre-labor and labor a woman's body is loading up on hormones and the ones that occur during these stages of pregnancy are much alike to the ones experienced during sexual pleasure. When I was laboring with Heidi at one point Corbin leaned over to kiss me. It may have been a bit odd to be surrounded by small crowd of onlookers during such an intimate moment but it was ever so perfect and it surely benefited my labor allowing for an extra burst of the hormonal energy a woman needs during labor- like food, like water- a kiss. 
photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
Heidi quickly came out with the pushes. Corbin and Salli brought her up from the water at 1:59AM. As soon as she ascended she took her first breath. They laid her on my chest and I told her out loud that I loved her. The room was dim- the people around me were all familiar and loved... Heidi calmly looked at me and I at her- not distracted by the world while we waited for her cord to stop pulsating. I'm not sure how long it took- a few minutes to about twenty is the norm. When she had finished getting all of the last of what my body had to offer- oxygen, for one...the cord was cut- again, Corbin did the honors. My dad came in from the waiting room and the water was drained- towels covered Heidi and I in the deep tub. Everyone was joyous and celebrated the beautiful baby. I was proud of her and myself. Corbin took Heidi in his arms to the hallway right outside my door and while everyone met the newest member of our family- I easily delivered an intact placenta. The red of it is shockingly beautiful- like a Barbie's convertible red. 
Breastfeeding photo by Jennifer Wildey Photography
I was moved to the bed where I rested against the pillows and the midwives checked my stats. Heidi and Corbin returned and climbed in beside me. I drank and ate and nursed Heidi. The nursing came so natural- not a struggle at all- I knew of course what to do because I had done it before but it amused me to see her latch on as if she'd had some experience before too. The midwives left us alone and our families went back to their homes. Corbin and I watched over Heidi in awe of the whole process- thankful to God- tired. Two hours after her birth, we were given the go ahead to leave- Heidi had been inspected by Christy - My own body had normalized. My body was never sore (I think because of the water)- not a single tear- I felt amazingly refreshed. The three of us drove home happily and relieved Corbin's dad from his overnight watch and also introducing him as "Chief" to his newest grandbaby- We slept for two hours or so before Gavin needed to be woken up. Corbin and I excitedly came in his room to retrieve him. "There's a baby in the other room Gavin! Mama's baby came out of her belly!"
First touch
It is amazing how much bigger he seemed right then. Corbin brought him in our room to see his sleeping sister. He wanted to touch her and was so excited. I will never forget that excitement! At four months old now Heidi is smiling back at him. Every morning- just like the morning they met- Gavin rushes in to see "baby sissy!" Even if she is sleeping and I would enjoy it to stay that way he has to go and tell her "Baby Sissy! Wake-up Baby Sissy!" No, the days can not go on with out you Heidi. You have filled such a wonderful space in all of our lives. We love you. 
Heidi 4 months old
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