by Jessica Palmer on Sunday, April 8, 2012 at 11:01am ·
At around 1am I woke up feeling some pains. Barely conscious I had to think where the pain was coming from this time. “Charlie horse? Nope... Stitch in my side? Nope... Heart burn? Nope... Braxton hicks?...... That is NOT Braxton hicks!!!” I rolled myself out of bed and shambled into the bathroom. Staring at myself in the mirror, I saw the same ear-to-ear grin on my face from approximately 9 months ago when that life-changing pink plus sign showed on the pregnancy test.
I was having contractions. Not those annoying Braxton hicks. REAL contractions! Soon I'd get to hold, look, smell, cuddle, kiss my little Aurelia! It took every ounce of my very pregnant body to stop myself from jumping with joy, then another contraction came and I had to sit down.
When it finally passed, I climbed back into bed and “gently” woke Danny, my awesome husband. He peeked at me through one squinted eye. I'm assuming he saw my ridiculous grin because both of his eyes popped open finally and he asked, “Is this it?!”
Nodding, “I'm starting a bath!”
Danny texted Salli, my midwife, that contractions had started and after my bath we'd try to get some more sleep. My contractions were very sporadic (anywhere from 3 minutes to 10 minutes apart), and I was experiencing some back labor with the contractions (that was only the beginning). But in-between contractions, things were great.
Danny and I were very thankful I was able to get back to sleep – and I slept really good. I don't remember what time we woke up because I swore to myself I would not look at a clock (and I didn't, so unless someone said anything I never knew what time it was), but I guess it was around 8am. My contractions were still sporadic, so we did our usual thing. Eat breakfast and watch some toons. Then Danny inflated the birthing tub while I relaxed on the bed. We texted our families that things were starting. Since I was still feeling pretty good, and we knew it might be a while before things really started rockin', we invited his mom and his younger sister over to hang out. My MIL timed my contractions in the midst of all our conversations, walks around the yard, and visits to the food pantry – but stopped during my many bathroom breaks ;-)!
Everything was pretty relaxed since my contractions were still very sporadic, and I could manage them (although my MIL knew when they began/ended by looking at my face). Salli suggested I go into what reminded me as child's pose for as long/often as I could to help my contractions become more consistent. Basically I rested while keeping my behind above my head. I looked silly, but it did the trick – they went from 3-10 minutes apart to 3-4 minutes apart – but still manageable.
My mom and my sister came over to see how things were going later that afternoon, and by that time the contractions were getting a little more difficult to get through. My mom started cleaning my kitchen, and we popped in “She's Out of My League”. We set up a spot for me in the middle of the living room floor so I could do child's pose and then lay down. But as soon as the movie started I had enough of child's pose and the contractions were averaging 4 minutes and were getting more intense. Every time a contraction rolled in, my MIL brushed my hair and caressed my face – it was very soothing, especially her cool hands on my hot face.
After a few minutes, Danny helped me up and took me to the bathroom for the millionth time. But this time, I wouldn't let his hands go. I started to cry in pain. The back labor was awful. It was time for everyone to leave! As I sat in the bathroom, Danny told everyone good-bye, thank you, and everyone wished us good luck. It was a bit after 4pm by this time.
Since I was in the guest bathroom, Danny helped me back to our master bathroom and drew a bath to hopefully help my back pain (to no avail). He grabbed my phone and started texting Salli. It was all up to me whether I wanted her over. I was unsure and then I felt another contraction – yes, I definitely needed her to come over.
As Danny began filling up the tub I tried different positions to help ease the back labor – going on my hands and knees, resting against a wall with feet shoulder-length apart, lying on this side, that side... ah, it just wouldn't go away. Danny tried massaging my back, but as soon as a contraction came along it was hands off! For what only seemed like minutes, Salli came in to see how everything was going. Well, the water in the birth tub was too cold (I had used up all the hot water for my shower/bath), and the back labor was just... AGH! But everything else was great. Salli asked if she could check me, and I said okay. As she checked I thought, “Oh, I'm only going to be 4 or 5cm. Yeah, sounds about right.” When she was done, she said the most amazing thing EVER! I was 8-9cm, 100% effaced and the water sac was bulging – ready to pop whenever. All I could think was, “YESSS! YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSS! I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAA—AHH!” Contraction. I smiled.
I continued laying on my bed breathing through the contractions while Danny and Salli worked on warming up the birthing tub. Finally I asked if it was ready for me, and Salli said the second most amazing thing ever, “Yes!” And I went in. And, man, was it nice! I was able to relax a bit more. Salli and Danny continued filling the tub with more hot water, and finally settled down. Salli to my left, Danny in front of me. I was set.
I continued trying different positions to ease the back labor. Danny would offer his hands, he'd kiss me, tell me I was doing great as I mashed my forehead into his because that helped ease the back labor a bit. He was just... amazing. Everything about Danny during that time was amazing. His skin, his breath, the smell of his shampoo! He was great! Exactly what I needed to get through the back labor. Salli, however, would try doing counter pressure, placing a hot or cold rag on my back. It all felt great until a contraction came and all those things just made the back labor worse! Eventually I just relaxed into the tub, and breathed as I felt wave after wave of every contraction. At some point during all of this Salli's assistant came.
I remember thinking my contractions were easy. Everything would be fine, then my lower abdomen felt like it was tightening up. The sensation would raise throughout my abdomen and then wrap around my back. It was only my back that hurt! All I could think was, “She is almost here!” (which became my mantra to get through the pain). But as soon as the contraction faded away, the pain would subside greatly and I was okay again. Danny would cheer me on, I had another whiff of him, and Salli would smile. Then I'd remind myself it was all worth it, and was pumped for the next one!
At about 8:30pm I started grunting. Salli asked if I was pushing, but I said I wasn't sure. I didn't really feel the urge to push, but I wanted to grunt. The back pain was getting really awful (it felt like someone was digging an ice-pick in my lower back). Although Salli said I was in the best position for back relief (hands and knees) I wasn't getting it, and it was unbearable. She explained to me the baby's head was finding her way down through my pelvis. By now, my hands began to prune, and the birthing tub was beginning to lose it's charm. I wanted out.
I climbed back into bed, Danny joined me and I held his hand. Salli had me lay in a position for a few contractions. I began to whimper because the back labor was worse than ever. She's almost here! Then I tried another position, and the back pain worsened. Almost here! Almost here! Almost here! *pop* Water broke, and a huge wave of relief came over me. It. Was. Great.
I rolled over to another position, side-lying. I felt that urge to push. Salli lifted the top leg and rested it on her shoulder, and I yelled a long, loud grunt! “UUUUAAAAGGHHH!!!” That urge to push was absolutely amazing. I still can not believe how powerful that sensation was. It was uncontrollable. I did not know why there is such a thing as guided pushing for un-medicated labors. And I could not believe anyone would tell a laboring woman, “Wait.” Not pushing at that time is just so unnatural (and the body will push for you whether or not you get that stupid thing done anyway!) And, well, my body made me push with it! That urge was so powerful I could only grunt/yell to exhale. Thankfully Danny was guiding my breathing between pushes. At one point, Salli's assistant said, "I think you're pushing!" and all I could think was, "Uh... DUH!!!"
Danny was my only focal point, and he was a great one. My sensations were on a high! He looked amazing, he smelled amazing, and... his eyes! Oh man, his eyes! His eyes were all shades of blue at once! I kept falling in love with the man of my life over and over, again and again!
Throughout all of this, Salli was propping up my leg and her assistant was busy cleaning me off and cheering me on. I remember Salli put her finger inside me and said, “Push here.” I was so confused and asked, “How do I do that?” And another powerful urge to push came over me. Apparently I missed out on her explanation. The tip of her finger indicated where the baby's head was (and now I understand the baby was incredibly close). I could feel the ring of fire, the baby was crowning and I could feel her head beginning to come out, but I had to hold myself (I was putting pressure on certain places of my private parts, otherwise I probably would have torn. Note: using your own hands are so convenient in labor so just go ahead and touch yourself whenever you feel the need ;-) ). Salli further helped me by doing a perineal massage (she explained herself, but, once again I missed it so it was a surprise to me – it's amazing how focused you are when birthing)!
Finally, the baby's head came out. Another huge relief! Salli, however, asked me to stop pushing. She had to suck some stuff out of the baby's nose/mouth. It was incredibly hard to do, but I managed it. Then I got to push again, and my beautiful Aurelia (all of 8lbs 2oz, 22in) was placed ON my belly at 9:55pm, November 21, 2011. After 20 hours of labor, my little Rae of sunshine was finally in my arms! She was so warm, so soft, so here! I never felt so happy, so relaxed... so... empowered. I am mother! Here me ROAR!
Salli continued working on Rae while I held her, and her assistant checked me. Everything was a breeze... and I was very ticklish to say the least! My ony souvenir was an adorable baby and a sore throat.
But a few hours after Aurelia was born we had to go to the hospital. Aurelia was taking too long to stabilize, and she was retracting. Although when we got there, she appeared to be doing great (she even fooled the doctor) but some chest x-rays proved otherwise. She had meconium aspiration (which is very common but most babies bounce back from it real quick). Salli did everything a doctor would at the perinium and as soon as she was out (sucking out the stuff, providing oxygen, and then observing), but it turns out Rae had a respiratory infection. We were at the hospital for a week, and although I did have a thing or two about the place, all the doctors and nurses were amazing and made our stay there as comfortable as possible. But that is another story.
I was having contractions. Not those annoying Braxton hicks. REAL contractions! Soon I'd get to hold, look, smell, cuddle, kiss my little Aurelia! It took every ounce of my very pregnant body to stop myself from jumping with joy, then another contraction came and I had to sit down.
When it finally passed, I climbed back into bed and “gently” woke Danny, my awesome husband. He peeked at me through one squinted eye. I'm assuming he saw my ridiculous grin because both of his eyes popped open finally and he asked, “Is this it?!”
Nodding, “I'm starting a bath!”
Danny texted Salli, my midwife, that contractions had started and after my bath we'd try to get some more sleep. My contractions were very sporadic (anywhere from 3 minutes to 10 minutes apart), and I was experiencing some back labor with the contractions (that was only the beginning). But in-between contractions, things were great.
Danny and I were very thankful I was able to get back to sleep – and I slept really good. I don't remember what time we woke up because I swore to myself I would not look at a clock (and I didn't, so unless someone said anything I never knew what time it was), but I guess it was around 8am. My contractions were still sporadic, so we did our usual thing. Eat breakfast and watch some toons. Then Danny inflated the birthing tub while I relaxed on the bed. We texted our families that things were starting. Since I was still feeling pretty good, and we knew it might be a while before things really started rockin', we invited his mom and his younger sister over to hang out. My MIL timed my contractions in the midst of all our conversations, walks around the yard, and visits to the food pantry – but stopped during my many bathroom breaks ;-)!
Everything was pretty relaxed since my contractions were still very sporadic, and I could manage them (although my MIL knew when they began/ended by looking at my face). Salli suggested I go into what reminded me as child's pose for as long/often as I could to help my contractions become more consistent. Basically I rested while keeping my behind above my head. I looked silly, but it did the trick – they went from 3-10 minutes apart to 3-4 minutes apart – but still manageable.
My mom and my sister came over to see how things were going later that afternoon, and by that time the contractions were getting a little more difficult to get through. My mom started cleaning my kitchen, and we popped in “She's Out of My League”. We set up a spot for me in the middle of the living room floor so I could do child's pose and then lay down. But as soon as the movie started I had enough of child's pose and the contractions were averaging 4 minutes and were getting more intense. Every time a contraction rolled in, my MIL brushed my hair and caressed my face – it was very soothing, especially her cool hands on my hot face.
After a few minutes, Danny helped me up and took me to the bathroom for the millionth time. But this time, I wouldn't let his hands go. I started to cry in pain. The back labor was awful. It was time for everyone to leave! As I sat in the bathroom, Danny told everyone good-bye, thank you, and everyone wished us good luck. It was a bit after 4pm by this time.
Since I was in the guest bathroom, Danny helped me back to our master bathroom and drew a bath to hopefully help my back pain (to no avail). He grabbed my phone and started texting Salli. It was all up to me whether I wanted her over. I was unsure and then I felt another contraction – yes, I definitely needed her to come over.
As Danny began filling up the tub I tried different positions to help ease the back labor – going on my hands and knees, resting against a wall with feet shoulder-length apart, lying on this side, that side... ah, it just wouldn't go away. Danny tried massaging my back, but as soon as a contraction came along it was hands off! For what only seemed like minutes, Salli came in to see how everything was going. Well, the water in the birth tub was too cold (I had used up all the hot water for my shower/bath), and the back labor was just... AGH! But everything else was great. Salli asked if she could check me, and I said okay. As she checked I thought, “Oh, I'm only going to be 4 or 5cm. Yeah, sounds about right.” When she was done, she said the most amazing thing EVER! I was 8-9cm, 100% effaced and the water sac was bulging – ready to pop whenever. All I could think was, “YESSS! YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSSSSSSS! I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAA—AHH!” Contraction. I smiled.
I continued laying on my bed breathing through the contractions while Danny and Salli worked on warming up the birthing tub. Finally I asked if it was ready for me, and Salli said the second most amazing thing ever, “Yes!” And I went in. And, man, was it nice! I was able to relax a bit more. Salli and Danny continued filling the tub with more hot water, and finally settled down. Salli to my left, Danny in front of me. I was set.
I continued trying different positions to ease the back labor. Danny would offer his hands, he'd kiss me, tell me I was doing great as I mashed my forehead into his because that helped ease the back labor a bit. He was just... amazing. Everything about Danny during that time was amazing. His skin, his breath, the smell of his shampoo! He was great! Exactly what I needed to get through the back labor. Salli, however, would try doing counter pressure, placing a hot or cold rag on my back. It all felt great until a contraction came and all those things just made the back labor worse! Eventually I just relaxed into the tub, and breathed as I felt wave after wave of every contraction. At some point during all of this Salli's assistant came.
I remember thinking my contractions were easy. Everything would be fine, then my lower abdomen felt like it was tightening up. The sensation would raise throughout my abdomen and then wrap around my back. It was only my back that hurt! All I could think was, “She is almost here!” (which became my mantra to get through the pain). But as soon as the contraction faded away, the pain would subside greatly and I was okay again. Danny would cheer me on, I had another whiff of him, and Salli would smile. Then I'd remind myself it was all worth it, and was pumped for the next one!
At about 8:30pm I started grunting. Salli asked if I was pushing, but I said I wasn't sure. I didn't really feel the urge to push, but I wanted to grunt. The back pain was getting really awful (it felt like someone was digging an ice-pick in my lower back). Although Salli said I was in the best position for back relief (hands and knees) I wasn't getting it, and it was unbearable. She explained to me the baby's head was finding her way down through my pelvis. By now, my hands began to prune, and the birthing tub was beginning to lose it's charm. I wanted out.
I climbed back into bed, Danny joined me and I held his hand. Salli had me lay in a position for a few contractions. I began to whimper because the back labor was worse than ever. She's almost here! Then I tried another position, and the back pain worsened. Almost here! Almost here! Almost here! *pop* Water broke, and a huge wave of relief came over me. It. Was. Great.
I rolled over to another position, side-lying. I felt that urge to push. Salli lifted the top leg and rested it on her shoulder, and I yelled a long, loud grunt! “UUUUAAAAGGHHH!!!” That urge to push was absolutely amazing. I still can not believe how powerful that sensation was. It was uncontrollable. I did not know why there is such a thing as guided pushing for un-medicated labors. And I could not believe anyone would tell a laboring woman, “Wait.” Not pushing at that time is just so unnatural (and the body will push for you whether or not you get that stupid thing done anyway!) And, well, my body made me push with it! That urge was so powerful I could only grunt/yell to exhale. Thankfully Danny was guiding my breathing between pushes. At one point, Salli's assistant said, "I think you're pushing!" and all I could think was, "Uh... DUH!!!"
Danny was my only focal point, and he was a great one. My sensations were on a high! He looked amazing, he smelled amazing, and... his eyes! Oh man, his eyes! His eyes were all shades of blue at once! I kept falling in love with the man of my life over and over, again and again!
Throughout all of this, Salli was propping up my leg and her assistant was busy cleaning me off and cheering me on. I remember Salli put her finger inside me and said, “Push here.” I was so confused and asked, “How do I do that?” And another powerful urge to push came over me. Apparently I missed out on her explanation. The tip of her finger indicated where the baby's head was (and now I understand the baby was incredibly close). I could feel the ring of fire, the baby was crowning and I could feel her head beginning to come out, but I had to hold myself (I was putting pressure on certain places of my private parts, otherwise I probably would have torn. Note: using your own hands are so convenient in labor so just go ahead and touch yourself whenever you feel the need ;-) ). Salli further helped me by doing a perineal massage (she explained herself, but, once again I missed it so it was a surprise to me – it's amazing how focused you are when birthing)!
Finally, the baby's head came out. Another huge relief! Salli, however, asked me to stop pushing. She had to suck some stuff out of the baby's nose/mouth. It was incredibly hard to do, but I managed it. Then I got to push again, and my beautiful Aurelia (all of 8lbs 2oz, 22in) was placed ON my belly at 9:55pm, November 21, 2011. After 20 hours of labor, my little Rae of sunshine was finally in my arms! She was so warm, so soft, so here! I never felt so happy, so relaxed... so... empowered. I am mother! Here me ROAR!
Salli continued working on Rae while I held her, and her assistant checked me. Everything was a breeze... and I was very ticklish to say the least! My ony souvenir was an adorable baby and a sore throat.
But a few hours after Aurelia was born we had to go to the hospital. Aurelia was taking too long to stabilize, and she was retracting. Although when we got there, she appeared to be doing great (she even fooled the doctor) but some chest x-rays proved otherwise. She had meconium aspiration (which is very common but most babies bounce back from it real quick). Salli did everything a doctor would at the perinium and as soon as she was out (sucking out the stuff, providing oxygen, and then observing), but it turns out Rae had a respiratory infection. We were at the hospital for a week, and although I did have a thing or two about the place, all the doctors and nurses were amazing and made our stay there as comfortable as possible. But that is another story.
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