Birth of Sora

My Birth Story

by April Garcia

                                                          Photo by:       Kaiyla Rutledge

This is my home birth story. But, before I get to that, let me start by saying that this was not my first birth. I have two other children, Connor my 4 year old and Myckael my one year old, who were both born in a hospital. While neither of my hospital experiences were bad ones, looking back there are things that I wish I would have known.

After my water broke with Connor I went to the hospital. Though my water had broken, I was not feeling any contractions so they decided to put me on Pitocin before checking to see whether or not I was having contractions or checking to see if I was dilated. Had I known better I would have told them I did not want the Pitocin until my body had been given the opportunity to work as nature intended. During the delivery I suffered a 4th degree tear from the speed of pushing combined with the episiotomy the doctor had given me. Again, if I had known better I would have told the doctor and nurses ahead of time I did not want an episiotomy. Connor was a healthy 8lbs. 3oz. and 20.5 inches at birth on May 24, 2008.

I also birthed my second son, Myckael, in the hospital. I chose the same doctor I had used with Connor specifically, if for no other reason, because of the tear. (I also felt more comfortable working with a doctor I was familiar with.) I am thankful that my doctor was on the same wavelength as me in that she wanted to be sure to avoid a c-section; just as I wanted to avoid a c-section. At some point during my pregnancy my doctor and I decided that we wanted to induce me early to try and prevent Myckael from being as big as Connor was. It was our intent, and hope, that by doing so we could prevent another serious tear which could leave me unable to control my bowel movements.

I ended up being induced at 38 weeks exactly. Myckael was a healthy 9lbs. 3oz. and 21.25 inches at birth on February 23, 2011. I suffered no tearing though I pushed just as fast (because when you are in the hospital they insist you push, push, push..), but this time my doctor worked to help stretch my vaginal opening to help Myckael's head fit and she did not perform an episiotomy. Looking back, I realize my fear of having a bigger child was unfounded and there was no need for an induction. Live and learn.

"Little" Sora is my third child, first girl, and first home birth. Something I have always wanted to experience is a water birth. I never really cared if it was done in a hospital, at home, or in a birthing center. I just knew it was something I wanted. I have always had a fascination and love for water, so what could be more intriguing than a water birth; aside from the relaxing, soothing effect it is supposed to have. So, this time around I decided to have a midwife, who was referred to me by Donnetta, a former co-worker, and deliver our little girl at home via water birth.

When I had Connor, I wanted to labor and deliver drug free, making sure the nurses knew when I went into the hospital that I would not want an Epidural, but I succumbed to pressure when I was 3-4 centimeters dilated. The nurse let me know if I wanted drugs it was now or never, so I asked for Demerol. This was a very hard decision to make as it went against my birth plan. I openly cried after making this decision. The only good thing that came of it is I learned that Demerol does nothing to take the pain away. All it did was make me dizzy and allowed me to cat nap between contractions.

With Myckael, I was more open minded on the drug front. I did have some type of pain medication put in my IV, upon request, and I also asked for an Epidural. (Angel, knowing how much I wanted a drug free birth and how heartbroken I was when I had Connor but used drugs was standing next to me shaking his head no. I assured him that I was in no way upset for making the decision, this time, to use drugs.) Fortunately, by the time the anesthesiologist was ready to administer the Epidural it was too late. I was ready to push.

Part of the allure of having a home birth, aside from having the water birth I've always wanted, was the fact that there would be no temptation to use drugs. When it comes to having my children I have always wanted to use a natural approach; which is why I breastfeed and prefer to use cloth diapers, even if I do not use them 100% of the time. Unfortunately with the boys that just did not happen.

On the night of October 27, 2012 Angel and I were across the street at my friend Anna's Halloween party. While we were there I began to notice a tightening in my stomach. After a few times of this happening, and prodding my stomach to see if it was hard everywhere, I realized I was having contractions. They were not painful in any way so I was not sure if it was the start of the real thing or just Braxton Hicks. I had never noticed any Braxton Hicks during either of my other pregnancies so I had no idea what they felt like. I was excited of course because I had been ready for her arrival ever since I'd hit 36 weeks though my actual due date was not until November 9th.

I continued to have random contractions that would get closer together then farther apart, but none hurt. Slowly they started to become stronger but still no pain. On November 5th I thought for sure I was going to have her. That morning, at 5:17AM, I sent a text to my midwife, Salli, to let her know I had lost my mucus plug and had started having contractions that were a tad uncomfortable. At 6:37AM I had bloody show. I was super excited. By 1:09PM the contractions were still random but were a 2-3 on the pain scale. At this point the contractions were happening about every 15 minutes. By 5:26PM my contractions had begun to slow down and were 30 minutes or more apart. Talk about frustrated.

The next day, Tuesday, November 6th, I sent Salli a text at 7:50AM saying that I had been having contractions throughout the night. The contractions continued to be strong and some were more painful than others. I was supposed to drive out to Seguin to see Salli for a prenatal appointment that day but decided against it as my contractions were strong enough to give me pause whenever I had one. At 2:02PM I had been having contractions that were 10 minutes apart and they hurt. The contractions continued, little by little, to get stronger. At 3:30PM they had, once again, slowed. At 6:36PM I sent Salli a text message saying that the last contraction I had was at least a 6 on the pain scale.

At 12:27AM on November 7th Salli received a text saying that I had just had one hell of a painful contraction. At 12:54AM I asked how close my contractions have to be before she would head out to which she replied 3-5 minutes for an hour. I responded with "ok" and that was the last message Salli received from me. It wasn't long after my last message to Salli that I decided to go ahead and get out of bed because I knew I wasn't going to get anymore sleep. The contractions were pretty painful at that point and the anticipation of each new contraction was keeping me awake in between.

Angel and the boys were still asleep but I went to the living room to watch TV, make use of my exercise ball, and wait it out. At this point I was pretty sure Angel would not be going to work today, but I wanted to let him sleep as long as he could. I sent a text message to my cousin Karrigan at 12:55AM to let her know, as she would be attending my labor and birth, that my contractions were really beginning to hurt. I continued to labor, alone, in the living room while everyone else slept. I watched a couple of movies, Where The Heart Is and The Banger Sisters, and at 4:13AM I sent Karrigan another text telling her that today would be the day.

My contractions were around 15 minutes apart and the pain was a 10+.  Karrigan encouraged me to wake Angel up to try and help me through my contractions since, in her words, "if [he's] there for [the] fun he gets to be there for the hard part to!" I was in tears as I lay across my exercise ball breathing through painful contractions. At 4:27AM she offered to come over whenever I was ready for her company. I let her know that I was ready and she said she'd be here as soon as she got her baby girl fed and taken care of. It was after this that I went and got Angel up. (Or maybe I had him up at one something in the morning. I cannot remember.)

Karrigan arrived at, I believe, 5 something in the morning. My contractions were pretty painful but were still around 15 minutes apart. I was watching The Banger Sisters when she arrived. I believe Angel was in the kitchen about to make some breakfast. Connor was still asleep on the couch and Myckael was lying with me on the loveseat. For a good while I was able to carry on a conversation between contractions; stopping to concentrate and breath when one struck. I was lying on the loveseat, with Myckael, when Karrigan got to the house. I switched back to sitting for a while and she suggested standing or getting in the shower. I decided to go stand in the shower under the hot water for a bit with Angel. From there I went back out to the living room and kitchen and stood leaning on the table for support while Karrigan rubbed my back. That worked better for a while. She kept trying to get me to eat something but as my contractions got stronger I became nauseated; actually dry heaving, once, over the table. I was never able to eat more than a few nibbles of cheese and one small bite of bacon. Thank the good Lord I never puked. I really thought I was going to.

Gradually my contractions got to be more and more painful and closer together. Karrigan and Angel took turns rubbing my back trying to help me relax and work through each contraction as it came. Using an app on her cell, Karrigan monitored my contractions. At some point I found myself seated on the floor leaning on the couch right in front of Connor, who was still passed out. I cannot believe all my moaning did not wake him. Talk about a heavy sleeper.

It was there sitting on the living room floor, leaning on the couch clutching a pillow for dear life, when my contractions were at 3-5 minutes apart. I believe it was during this time that Angel phoned  Kaiyla. She asked him how far apart my contractions were and after inquiring from Karrigan relayed that they were 3-5 minutes apart. I believe it was at this time that Kaiyla headed over. It was also during this time that Angel asked Karrigan how long my contractions had been 3-5 minutes apart. She let him know that they had only been 3-5 minutes apart for around 40 minutes. Angel asked if we could just bend the truth and go ahead and call Salli. Karrigan agreed that that was probably a good idea so Angel picked up the phone and began his phone calls; calling Salli first. This was probably around 7AM something as it is a 45 minute, give or take, drive from Salli's house in Seguin to our house in Floresville.

After Angel called Salli to let her know it was time to head this way he gave Emily, our photographer, a call as well. So at 8AM something Salli, Emily, and then Shara, Salli's apprentice, showed up one by one. Around this time Karrigan did most of the work rubbing my back and helping me out while Angel was running around  helping everyone into the yard and into the house. He also set to work helping Salli and Shara set up the birthing pool. During all of this I'm still laboring on the floor at the couch. Suddenly I hear splashing. Connor and Myckael decided to take advantage of the new pool in their kitchen. Even in all the pain I was in, and I was in a lot, I found myself highly amused; though I'm not sure I was able to express my amusement.

Probably about 15 minutes after Salli arrived my water broke and as soon as my water broke it was pushing time. While Salli, Angel, and Shara are getting the pool set up I've already begun pushing. Once they think the pool is ready Angel helps me walk over to it, but the hot water had run out and the water in the pool was too cold to deliver the baby in. Letting slip my not so thrilled feeling on the matter, I kneel down on the floor draping myself over the side of the tub and push. After about 15 minutes of excruciating, burning pain, particularly when baby girl crowned, Sora entered the world at 9:13AM sliding into daddy's hands right there on the kitchen floor. She weighed 10lbs. and was 21 inches long.

I would be lying if I said that at no point during my labor did I find myself wanting drugs. I very clearly remember "What the hell was I thinking doing this without drugs!" going through my mind. However, now that the pain has passed and I have time to look back and reflect it is amazing what you can do when you let your body do what God intended it to do.

I remember feeling Sora moving down into the birth canal as I sat there laboring on the living room floor letting gravity and my body work together. I never experienced that while lying in a hospital bed. I didn't have to deal with being hooked up to an IV, nor did I have to listen to a doctor and nurses sit, or stand, there and rush me through the pushing process. Everything about this birth was about me, my body, and my baby. I was never checked to see how far dilated I was; though I wanted to be. There just wasn't time for that. I listened to my body and worked with it. The experience was so personal. So raw.

I will admit that my home birth was not quite what I expected. I had gone on YouTube and watched some home water birth videos and thought it was so calm, quiet, and relaxing. The birthing mother never making a peep. That was not my birth. There was moaning, grunting, and screaming. I never made it into the birthing pool. My older boys were running around making noise, or playing in the pool. Trying to talk to me while I was having contractions. (That didn't go over well.) Myckael would ask me if I was okay to which I'd respond, "No, mommy is not okay." But, it was still a very unique experience. One I am glad to have been blessed with the opportunity to experience and even more blessed to have had the support of some wonderful people throughout the process.

I think the best part about having my baby at home, aside from no medical intervention from a medical staff who thinks they know my body better than I do, was being able to sit and cuddle my new baby girl right after she was delivered. I never got to experience that with my boys. (Especially after having Myckael because he was so big they wanted to do all kind of tests on him before they would let me have him.) My boys were able to witness the birth of their little sister. It was also nice to sit, or lie, on my own comfortable couch, in comfortable surroundings to relax and admire my little girl. No pesky nurses constantly coming in and out of my room at all hours of the night, when I'm supposed to be resting. No lying in a hospital bed, in a boring hospital room waiting to be released. No unnerving car ride home hoping some crazy driver doesn't cause an accident. My husband, the boys, and I were able to comfortably sit back and bask in the glow of our growing family.

Here's the link to the video:   http://welcomesora.emilyalder.com/

The Birth Story of JohnDavid McKinley Graves

This is a birth story, with pictures and descriptions of an actual, live birth. While I have not posted any graphic pictures, please do not continue to read if you are sensitive or easily offended by these types of pictures or descriptions. This was a beautiful and amazing moment for our family and we have chosen to share this with the people in our lives. The process of birth is an amazing testament to God and His creation. We are excited to share our journey. Thanks for your support!

***

Back in January, I found out that I was expecting our second child. Our shock and excitement quickly turned to crazy all-day sickness and illness, but we pressed forward with our plans to have a positive, intervention-free homebirth.

Our announcement to share with our friends!

My first son, Andrew was born in a hospital. While the birth itself was relatively uneventful and handled decently, after birth him and I were both subjected to a cascade of interventions that caused problems for us both. Thankfully it was nothing that caused serious problems, but it led to me actively seeking out a different route for "next time".

Shortly after I got my positive test, we hired our midwife, Salli. Hiring Salli was such a peaceful process for us. She was well-known and respected in our area, and I had not heard a single negative thing about her from anyone. The local natural birth/natural parenting community had nothing but high praises for her and her practice, and when we met with her, she was able to answer any questions and concerns we had. If I had any doubts about homebirth, they were immediately gone quickly after making a choice about our midwife. Over the next nine months, I got to establish an amazing relationship with her and with her apprentice, Shara.

Visits with Salli were so much different than visiting with an OB/GYN. At each appointment I met Salli at the birth center in New Braunfels. Salli would check my blood pressure, pulse, urine, and then check the baby using a doppler or fetoscope to hear the heartbeat, and using her hands to feel the baby's position. She would measure my fundal height and ask questions about movement, how I was feeling (physically and emotionally), if I had any weird symptoms and ask about my diet and supplements. When I was able to eat, I tried to adhere to the Brewer Diet, and all my many supplements (prenatals, chlorophyll and various tinctures and herbs for overall pregnancy health.) The rest of the visit we would just simply chat -- about anything and everything. Salli also had an extensive library of books dealing with natural birth, breastfeeding, the issues surrounding maternity care and I read as many as I could, and that also provided a lot of discussion. I looked forward to every single visit!

Fast forward to early September. As my due date approached, I found myself feeling anxious. We were facing a move to South Dakota and my husband was scheduled to report by the end of September. I found myself stressed and worried that he would have to leave before our child would arrive.

40 weeks and 1 day, feeling very huge and uncomfortable, but feeling pretty!

My family, especially my mom, did everything she could to help me focus and stay calm. Sometimes it worked, other times I found myself frustrated, crying and venting to close friends via text, Facebook and e-mail.

My EDD of September 11th came and went without much notice. That next Thursday at my midwife appointment, she checked me and we found that I was very, VERY soft, almost completely effaced and dilated to between a 5-6. The water sac was "bulging" so we knew that the past two weeks of prodormal labor were doing something and labor was on it's way.

On Sunday September 16th I stayed home from worship services. I had the unfortunate experience of getting food poisoning the day before and while I felt like the puking and other fun stuff was over, I was very tired and slightly dehydrated, so I opted to stay home and rest.

Around 4pm, I began feeling a lot of pressure against my cervix and bottom. I wasn't have contractions but as I told my mom "I feel like I need to poop!!" She told me I should call Salli and see what she thought.

I texted Salli and explained what was going on. She said "I think I need to come over and check things out." She arrived at 5:15 and checked me. I was contracting regularly, but they weren't "hurting", and I was between 6-7 cm and even softer than I was before. She said "You are in labor, so let's get things set up and watch you and see what happens."

My husband, Salli and her assistant Holly began setting up the birth tub and taking my vitals. Around 5:30pm I had my first contraction that I felt. My husband and I began to time them and they were lasting about sixty seconds. Shortly after we began to time them, they began to hurt. I got on my knees and leaned over the coffee table and rocked my hips, moaning softly during contractions. They intensified quickly, and I had Philip text our photographer and my parents telling them they needed to get here soon.

Around 6pm I really wanted to be in the birth tub. The water looked so nice and I was beginning to struggle through the contractions on the floor.

Such a comfy pool. Seriously, being there was great! 

The pool wasn't quite full enough but Salli suggested I go ahead and get in. I immediately felt relief. I completely understand the term "natural birther's epidural" when it comes to being in water. It felt so good. During a contraction I could just let my body float and move so freely in the water. I alternated between laying on my back and floating, and being on my knees, leaning over the edge of the pool. During a contraction I moaned, roared and made sounds I did not know I could make. (And I have a sore throat to prove it.)

Support from Philip while leaning over the pool.

Leaning against the side, letting the rest of my body float.

My parents arrived home from church around 6:15pm. I was so excited to see my son Andrew. He immediately stripped down naked and got in the tub with me. As I moaned through contractions, he moaned with him and imitated the movements I was doing with my body. If I hadn't been needing to focus so hard, it would have been funny. He also decided that his lizard needed to be in the tub with us as well. Birth was definitely a family affair at this point. At several points I screamed for my mom, but she was right there, holding my hand and talking me through it.

Gathering strength from my mom.

At some point I began to lose track of time, and when I wasn't contracting, I was so relaxed I wanted to sleep. My body was going back and forth between being alert and focused on contractions, and sleeping, resting and fading out of consciousness in between. Philip got Andrew out of the pool, but Andrew stayed nearby, playing with his trains and stopping to come tell me "It's okay mommy, it's okay." during contractions. He would pat my arm or my face.

Andrew, enjoying his trains. 

Philip, Andrew and my dad helping me relax in between contractions.

Soon, my hips began to feel like they were going to be split in half. Salli began asking me questions and I could not answer her. I was so dazed and out of it, and I really wanted to sleep. Salli checked me and I was complete but there was a tiny bit of a lip on my cervix, as well as the water sac was still intact. I wanted to push during contractions but it hurt my hips so bad to do so. Shara and Holly then began doing counter pressure on my hips and I began to push. The counter pressure along with the pushing began to feel really good. I was no longer screaming for it to end, but instead saying "That feels good, that feels really good."

At 7:30 I was frustrated that my membranes were still intact. Salli asked if I wanted her to break my water and I said "Yes, I'm ready to have this baby." JohnDavid had other plans and while Salli got ready to break my water, I had a strong contraction, pushed and the sac popped on its own! Immediately I began to feel my baby descend and feel the infamous ring of fire. I had not felt that as strongly with Andrew and it scared me, but I also knew that it meant my baby was almost here.

Philip switched places and got ready to "catch". I pushed and roared with just about every bit of energy I had left and I felt the head come out. I reached down to feel the head and as soon as I touched the head, I knew it was a boy...with A FULL head of hair!

I wanted to finishing pushing him out, but I didn't have the energy so I waited for the next contraction. That's when Salli discovered the cord was around his neck. Her and Shara quickly had me switch to my hands and knees, and she was able to release the cord and I felt him slide out. Philip reached down in the water and grabbed him, and loudly shouted "It's a boy! JohnDavid is here!"

Shara and Salli helped my lean back against the tub and JohnDavid McKinley Graves was placed on my chest for the first time. He wasn't crying, and was a little bit purple, and looking around. Salli told me to talk to him and he immediately began to turn pink and wiggle around. He never did really cry, but instead just looked at me and "talked". He was very calm and peaceful. We sat there staring at each other for about five to ten minutes. I was just in awe.

New mommy bliss!

Very proud daddy

I'm pretty sure we were laughing about the adorable pouty faces JohnDavid was making.

Surrounded by my loving boys!

Soon I began to feel the need to push again, and the placenta came out. We put it in a bowl and let it float around in the water while we waited for the cord to stop pulsating and turn white so it could be cut. I officially felt like a hippy homebirther at that point, lounging in a pool with a placenta floating in a bowl beside me. I was so deliriously happy with my baby that I didn't care.

Philip cutting the cord right after Salli clamped it.

Once the cord was cut, he went to his daddy and I climbed out of the pool and climbed into bed.

Snuggled safely into daddy's arms.

JohnDavid joined me and we nursed for the first time while Salli examined me. I had one tiny, superficial tear that we decided to let heal on its own but other than that, things looked great. My mom brought me a sandwich, while Shara brought me a smoothie. The after birth cramps were getting pretty intense with the nursing so Philip and my mom took turns rubbing my feet. I downed some ibuprofen and After-Ease tincture and Salli showed me how to massage my abdomen/uterus to help with the cramping.

After JohnDavid nursed a bit, Salli did the newborn exam. He was 9lbs, 2-3oz (the scale wouldn't ever be still) and 21 3/4 inches long. Such a chunk! At this point I was even more amazed that I hadn't torn, oh the power of water and listening to your body! Andrew had been physically pulled from my body as soon as his head emerged, and I'm convinced that is what caused my 2nd degree tear with him, even though he was almost a pound smaller than JohnDavid.

JohnDavid McKinley Graves

Philip took JohnDavid for some skin-to-skin and bonding time with Andrew while I showered. The shower felt so nice. Salli had prepared an herbal rinse in a peri-bottle and it would help with healing, swelling and the small tear.

After my shower, I ate and drank a bit more, nursed JohnDavid again and he settled down to sleep. Salli left, and everyone went to bed.

It was perfect. I couldn't get over the differences in Andrew's birth and JohnDavid's birth, and neither could Philip. All he could do was keep saying "This is so much better. This is so much better!!" The decision on where and how to birth is personal to each family but as for us, we will definitely have babies at home from now on (as long as it's a healthy, normal pregnancy!)

We are now a family of four, five if you include our beautiful doggy Bella. Bella and I are now officially outnumbered by the boys, but I think we will be okay.

Preparing for a VBAC

Michelle is a guest writer here on my blog.  I asked her to write about her approach to getting a much wanted VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) after 2 scheduled non-labor c-sections.  Here is her plan - mapped out in her own words.  This is excellent advice for those planning a VBAC and for every birthing woman planning to go the natural route. 

"I approached this fairly systematically, methodically.  I also took on preparing for my VBAC as a job. I did work on it every single day. Some days it was reading, some days it was visiting forums, some days it was prental yoga or walking....but it was always something.....at least until out 7 mos. along.  When I realized I had gained some confidence & felt like I had some mastery over the knowledge of the birth process, then some nights I gave myself permission to just sit in the living room with my hubby & relish being pregnant, contemplating what a privilege it was for me to be carrying my baby and being excited about the process that would bring him to my arms.

My intro to VBAC came from "The Business of Being Born."  It opened my eyes to what birh in American hospitals is.....and more importantly, what birth could/should be.  It was a reality check & the beginning of my paradigm shift.  Great thing about a video is that it's fairly easy to get hubby to watch it.  My hubby isn't gonna read birthing books but he will watch TV!  I have found that most local libraries have this availabe for check-out. I know Netflix has it, too.

After that I just googled "Risks of VBAC, " "VBAC," & "Risks of Repeat C-sections." This began to lay the factual, scientiic groundwork in my mind about the risks & benefits of vbac & repeat c/s. It further lead me to:
mothering.com forums re: VBAC. I learned a lot from those ladies, and gained comfort & strength & support, even tho they were faceless & anonymous to me.
www.ican-online.org. I perused all the studies and information they have posted on there.  I also joined the forum and began to visit that.
www.vbacfacts.com.  I perused this.  I recognized that it was not a scientific website.  But it was more perspective.
I went to the Mayo Clinic's website and also Johns Hopkins, I believe, as well as ACOG's website. I wanted to see for myself what the ob party line was on it.

Thru the forums I received reading list recommendations. 

The first book I read was Birth After Cesarean: The Medical Facts by Bruce L. Flamm.  He conducted the largest study on VBAC in the US and wrote about his findings.  I needed to know what the science said about VBACs....not the insurance companies or the ob's....the science.  I had to decide for myself if it was safe.

Then I read DON'T CUT ME AGAIN! True Stories About Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) by Angela J. Hoy. This was a compilation of birth stories, most of them successful VBACs but some were CBAC stories. I was discouraged by them sort of but also knew they were a good reality check for me and a reminder that nothing is guaranteed to me and I couldn't control everything.

After all this I had decided VBAC was safe for me & I would do it.  So the next book was "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. It did a great job educating me on the risks of all the common American obstetrical interventions employed today.  It also began to clarify personal circumstances under which I would agree to any of them.  Further, it had a fantastic list of interview questions for a provider. It was also during this book that I decided upon & committed myself to a completely natural childbirth.  Anything beyond that carried risks that could derail my effective labor & lead to a cascade of interventions that were neither safe for me nor my baby. I mentioned in passing to my husband that there would be no epidural. He made an expression that made me feel like he didn't believe me and I was crazy but he would go along with it for now. I knew I could do it, tho....I just knew.

So now that I had committed to a natural birth, I knew I needed some tools to manage labor successfully.  I researched Bradley, Lamaze, Hypnobirthing & Hypnobabies. I read women's assesments of how these had worked for them. I trid to choose the method that would help mitigate what I knew were some of my personality weaknesses....the need to always be in control, my acculturation that birth was dangerous and painful and scary.  In the instant I decided I would use Hypnobabies, a sense of peace came over me b/c I KNEW I'd have the tools to handle anything labor threw at me.  I felt powerful & confident.

Next I read "Painless Childbirth: An Empowering Journey Through Pregnancy and Childbirth" by Giuditta Tornetta. The title alone sounded great to me! It further encouraged me that I could alter the acculturation I had been raised with. But it was a bit too new-agey for me so kind of a challenge to get thru it but I took some good things from it.

"Birthin from Within" by Pam England and Rob Horowitz prompted me to face some of my own internal birth trauma and demons.  It also taught me that I could decide how to feel about birth. I could decide to fear it or I could decide to honor and accept it for the beauty and power that it intrinsically is.

"Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin taught me to relax my mouth and hands during labor and also to visualize my cervix dilating during labor.  More importantly, it taught me that "normal" birth has a really wide array of orders and timing.  Two births could be extraordinarily different and both could still be absolutely, completely normal and effective.  This was big for me in accepting the course of my own labor and not questioning how my own body & my own baby were choosing to do things.

Somewhere along the line, probably earlier in 2nd trimester I googled "Optimal Fetal Positioning." I read some random websites about it and spent a lot of time on spinningbabies.com. I bought a 65 cm exercise ball and began to sit on it daily. I would do pelvic tilts and not slouch on the couch after about week 28, I think. When my huge tile kitchen floor got dirty, I scrubbed it on my hands and knees.  I wanted my baby head-down and anterior. 

Being on all 4's felt GREAT to me during pregnancy. I spent a lot of time kneeling on the floor and leaning on my birth ball.  Sometimes I would even stack pillows under my chest in bed and sleep like that for a bit. Not surprisingly, what felt great to me during pegnancy also happened to feel great to me during labor. I spent all 6.5 hrs of my labor on all 4's and I delivered in that position as well.
 
I also bought a prenatal yoga DVD & did it periodically thru-out my pregnancy. I also signed up for a pre-natal yoga class on Saturday mornings with a local doula & yoga instructor. It was probably only 6 or 8 wks but I felt good about myself that I was doing it. I also took a water aerobics class during the last trimester at the jr. college down the street. It was twice/week.  Getting into the water felt SOO good and getting out was really hard b/c my belly would get soo heavy.

We also hired a doula.

I did the Hypnobabies home instruction class as the program stated. It was way more time consuming than I had expected and I found that irritating.  I would do it at nite after kids in bed. I fell asleep 95% of the time.  During labor, I did not hypnotize myself.  However, I did, indeed, have a "fast & easy" labor!! The program was amazingly effective at rewriting the script in my head about what labor & birth had to be.  It reprogrammed my subconscious. I can not overstate how much this helped me and how it benefitted me. So even tho it was time consuming, it was worth every second!  (Incidentally, my girlfriend did Hypnobabies, too, due at same time as me. Her labor was 7 hrs. Her first labor was 34 hours so 7 was a big difference!).

That is the journey I designed & the thought progression I used to get my VBA2C.  Finding a provider was an entirely separate and traumatic experience for me.  Getting my hubby on board is a different chapter.  Dealing with unsupportive family members and others is yet another chapter.

There are, of course, lots of ways to go about all of this that are equally effective. There are also lots of other good books out there.  I think each woman has to chart her own path while still leaning on other supportive women for advice, experience & wisdom.  It can be an isolating journey...women have got to find support from somewhere."  ~Michelle 

Melissa R's Birth Story

I knew when I lost my mucus plug that Monday morning that I was in trouble, but trouble came on slow and ended with an expected BANG!

I went to the bathroom that morning and found a large, green mass of slime staring back at me. I stared back at it, mesmerized for a few minutes. This was my second child, but I had never seen my mucus plug before. I googled it to be sure. Yep, sure enough, that was it. David just happened to be off that day and was going to work on the home we recently moved into. The home was, and still is undergoing renovations, which is a whole other story all together. I said "let's switch gears" and work to get the room ready for the new baby and get my daughters room straightened out as well. I had Braxton hicks contractions all day on Monday, but never any pain. We worked solidly throughout the day waiting for my water to break like you would see in the movies. Nada. So we wrapped up the day, took or showers, and went to bed.

The next morning David went work, my daughter went to pre-k, and I decided to run some last minute errands. Now people will tell you that you will go into labor within 24 hours of losing your mucus plug. Yet, here I was, more than a day later and nothing. As Tuesday morning progressed, I began to, finally, have contractions. They were 20-30 minutes apart, but felt real and were pretty consistent. I was determined to finish my errands and grab lunch before heading home. When I arrived home at noon, I texted David to let him know what was going on. I tried to rest but the contractions kept waking me. I just didn't feel right. Not like myself. At 4pm David and my daughter arrived home. I told him "I think today is the day" and we need to set up the birthing pool. Both of them were tired and took a nap anticipating the long night. When David got up around 6, I told him to start calling family and get the birthing pool up and running. I texted Salli to let her know my contractions were 8-10 minutes apart. I was told to rest, but within a half hour the contractions were 5 minutes apart. By just after 7pm the contractions were 2 minutes apart and taking my breath away. I texted Salli again and she said she was on the way! When Salli arrived she found me standing up, clutching the couch and David struggling in the back room with the pool! While Salli helped get the pool up, my daughter was running back and forth between me and them. I called family between contractions and told them to come to the house. Once the pool was up, I got in. The water felt great, but after sometime in the pool, my contractions slowed. Salli suggested I get out and go to bedroom to bounce on the birthing ball. Salli and her assistants were amazing! Throughout the whole process, they never left my side. They held a heating pad to my back and applied pressure to my hips to lessen the pain. They were a TREMENDOUS help! Finally around midnight the pain intensity peaked and I felt like I couldn't do it anymore! I begged Salli for pain medicine, but to no avail. Salli checked me. My cervix was posterior and she had to pull it forward to allow it to dilate. Within 3 contractions, I was dilated to 9cm. I got back in the pool and wanted to push, not because I felt the urge to, but because I was ready for labor to be over and I knew I'd complete while pushing. I pushed and there was so much pressure I thought I'd permanently injured my rear end! My water finally broke. My child crowned. I pushed once more and she was out! David was going to try and catch our child, but he wasn't in the right position. So one of the assistants pulled her out of the water and placed her on my chest. We did not know the gender of our child before her birth. The funny part was, I was so happy she was out, I forgot to look. It took me a few minutes to remember "oh yeah", what's the sex? GIRL! My daughter would have a sister, a life long friend and companion, just like I had growing up. My sister and daughter came in to the room to see the baby. My daughter was so happy it was a girl.

David cut the cord. We floated in the pool for an hour or so, bonding, breast feeding, and cuddling. She is perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes, and cute as can be. I fell in love with this tiny person immediately. She's my Mia Grace!

Home birth was a personal choice and it was the best choice I could have made! After having a hospital birth with my first child, I can truly appreciate how special, intimate, and comfortable a home birth truly is. Thank you, Salli!

Melissa H's Birth Story

She's here!!

At 11:48pm on March 21st, we were able to welcome our second little girl into this world! She was a little less than a month earlier than planned, but she came out looking and acting perfect! She didn't need any respiratory assistance or anything, and was nursing like a champ shortly after birth. For those of you who want to read it, here is her story.

For the past few weeks, I had been getting more and more anxious to get Amelia out! I was miserable. My back hurt, my legs hurt, my knees hurt... I was feeling things in places I didn't even know existed. This past week, I had noticed my body was going through a sort of "cleansing" process... and I just assumed it was from something I ate. Nope, it was my body getting ready. When I got pregnant with Ellie, she would ask me when the baby would be here. To keep things simple, I would tell her when it was spring. First official day of spring? March 20th. Earlier this week, I was telling people I know longer cared about my schedule, I was ready to have her. She could come out whenever she felt ready... She took that a little too literally.

I was having my weekly coffee with my dear friend yesterday morning. I was having what I thought were my normal braxton hicks contractions, which I had been getting a little more frequently as her due date was nearing. Only difference with these were that they were immediately followed by really low, menstrual like cramps. Nothing was timeable, so I just let it go as nothing. In my head, I knew I still have a few more weeks to go because Ellie was 39 weeks and that was WITHOUT labor. Anyway, we decide to go look at stores for little things and decide to take one car instead of two. As soon as I sat down in her car, I felt a lot wetter than I had before. I mean, A LOT wetter. We were heading to Babies R Us, so I told her I needed to check things out before we really went shopping. Sure enough, my water had broken, at roughly 10am and I was also having the start of my bloody show. I felt like crying right then and there. I knew that having her before my 37th week might mean a trip to the hospital instead of a homebirth like we had been planning for so long.

I called Salli, my midwife, and since I already had my regular appt scheduled for that day, I would go in as normal and she would check things out. I called Tom right after and let him know what was going on. He was able to get off work and come to the appt with me. Salli confirmed that my water had in fact broken, but told me that it could still be a couple of days before anything really started happening. She also told me that if I was comfortable with it, she was more than willing to follow through with our original plan of a homebirth.

We left thinking, holy shit, we're not ready. And we weren't. We didn't have any of the stuff on the birthing list for a home. I had all sorts of papers to write for school. Her co-sleeper still needed to be cleaned. The house needed to be cleaned. The list went on and on in my head. So, the first thing we did was got Tom's boss's approval for him to stay out the rest of the day and help me get things in order for the impending birth. Then, a trip to walmart and costco. While we were walking around I noticed that the braxton hicks contraction feeling wasn't coming anymore, but the menstrual cramp feeling was, and was getting stronger. I still kept thinking we had time to get things in order, at least somewhat.

After the shopping, Tom went to pick up Ellie and I headed home to start cleaning and getting ready. This was around 4:30pm... At around 5:15, labor started picking up...

So, now its 5:30 or so and we decide that its time to take a walk up to the drugstore to get the final things. I'm pretty sure it was during that walk that things started really progressing for us. I had already called my doula and another doula friend and they were on their way, and another friend was coming over to pick up the dogs for us. While in the drugstore I got a pretty strong and long contraction and had to actually kneel down in the store. I cried. We got our stuff and we paid and made our way, slowly, back home. We were almost home when we found out that both the doulas and our friends were already at our house waiting for us. We were less than 2 minutes away from the house when Salli called me to find out how I was doing. She called right as I was getting another contraction that brought me to tears. Ellie and Tom kept walking as that's what I suggested they do, and I lingered behind, talking to Salli on the phone and dealing with my contraction the best I could... walking uphill... We decided that I would talk to Lisa, one of my doulas before deciding whether or not it was time for Salli to make her way to the house.

Its roughly 7 o'clock pm now, and the dogs are gone, all the people that needed to be at my house (excluding Salli) were here, and things were getting pretty heavy. My contractions were about 3o-45 seconds long, occurring every two minutes. I remember thinking that it was insane how they hurt so much, but then I felt just fine once they were gone. I was able to hold conversations and make jokes... things were settling in, but weren't quite hard yet. I can't remember who, but during one of my contractions, one of the doulas suggested I get into the shower to see if that would help. I did, and it did. It was nice to just let the hot water run over me. Tom staying in the bathroom while I took my shower to help me deal with the contractions if I needed him. For the most part, I would just lean against the shower wall and let everything loose and just moan with the contraction. 

**From this point on, I honestly cannot tell you any times. I have no perception of the times that any of the following things happened.**

The shower also seemed to make my contractions stronger so I decided for the time being I wanted out. I put on my birthing dress, and started pacing around the house with Ellie. With every contraction I had I would moan, and Ellie would say, "its okay mommy. Just sing to the baby." I look back on it now and think about how sweet it was of her. She really was trying to help me. BUT... she also thought that after every contraction the baby would be out. She would look under my dress and see if she could see her. Being a 4 year old, I can understand her logic. I knew she was getting impatient with the whole process and I was worried about how she would react once things really started getting heated. I asked if she wanted to wait around the house with me for the baby or would she rather go to a friend's house and spend the night and meet her sister tomorrow? Without any hesitation, she said she'd rather go to the friends house. I asked one of the people at my house to drive her there.

Now that I didn't have to worry about scaring Ellie, I really started letting out the moaning and groaning. Also, my back labor started and it was horrible. At one point, I was double peaking, and bless my husband, he stayed with me and did every thing I asked him. The doulas were there offering support and a lending hand to Tom if he needed it. The pain was horrible and I swore I was transitioning, and that was what helped me deal with it. I kept telling myself I was getting closer. It was worth it. I knew I could deal with these with my husband there supporting me.

 

Finally the birthing tub was ready, and honestly, it was nice, but I was expecting more... until I finally got that one contraction, and got that perfect amount of counter pressure, and honestly, it felt like the contraction just went away. It was amazing! That didn't happen for all of them, but for the few of them it did that to, I would definitely use some sort of birthing pool again! Tom had put his swim trunks on and was with me as long as I needed him. A few times I felt like I needed to throw up, but every time, I just had to cough. And then the need to push happened. Salli told me to do whatever my body told me to do. And I did. I was pushing with the contractions, and it really helped....

Except I wasn't ready. Salli realized that I wasn't PUSHING pushing. She came over and did an internal, and I got the most debilitating news. I was only 5-6cm. I was crushed. I thought there was no way I could go through an actual transition if what happened on the couch WASN'T my transition. I gave up. I felt it. I was getting breaks in between my contractions now, and during those breaks I was able to fall half asleep. Once the contraction happened though, they seemed so horrible, and I know now that it was because I was fighting them, not working with them as I had before. Twice I asked to be taken to the hospital.

On the second time, everyone believed that I meant it. I honestly felt like there was no way I could keep going. Everyone tried their best to talk me out of it, saying how close I was to having Amelia. How if I went to the hospital I would have a c-section. How I'd still have to deal with contractions all the way there, in a car no less. I didn't care. I couldn't keep doing what I was doing.

I mentioned earlier that we weren't prepared for this birth. I meant it. We didn't have a diaper bag. We didn't have anything picked out just in case a transport was necessary. So everyone was rushing around the house getting things together. They kept asking me questions about preferences and all I can remember saying is "I don't care!" The pool was being drained while all of this was going on, and I was in my bedroom, not dealing with my contractions. Once I got the go ahead that everything was packed up I rushed out the door... only to find that we couldn't find the car keys. Grrrrrr! I had a neighbor outside that could see us all rushing out, and I'm yelling, "I need in the car. I need to go! Tom, we'll take your f-in car!" I was beyond reasoning and um, civilities. I was waiting by Tom's car when I saw the lights of my car flicker on letting me know that Tom had found my keys and had opened the door. Bethany, the other doula was already clearing out the backseat as I'm yelling at her to just let me in, I needed in. I crawled in on hands and knees, and this is when it got interesting...

I immediately started pushing. Yep. There was no holding back. I was taken aback by the pain and pressure of needing to push that I couldn't resist it. My poor neighbors heard it all. They yelled to get the Salli over there and at some point she did an internal, and sure enough, Amelia was almost all the way down. I had them all telling me I was going to have the baby in the car if I didn't move and move fast. Of course, when they were telling me this I couldn't move!

As soon as the contraction let up, Tom opened up the door and we were rushing inside. I could already feel something starting up again, and I knew it was going to be fast. I had no idea where to go because the pool was already almost completely drained. Salli told me to go to my bedroom where things were already set up. Once the pads were in place and my underwear was off, I instinctively went to my hands and knees. I started pushing again and Tom was right there by my side. The only comparison I can make to what I sounded like as I was pushing was the scream from "the princess bride" when wesley was being tortured by the six fingered man. With this second contraction, I could feel the "ring of fire" and I remember saying how much it burned. I don't remember getting any guidance about slowing down and stopping or anything. I was just doing whatever my body told me to do. Apparently this was when Amelia was crowning. With the next contraction, I pushed and almost immediately felt this immense release of pressure... because I had just birthed her head. I was so scared to ask if that was what that was because I was so scared someone was going to tell me no. Between that contraction and the next it seemed as though there were a huge time gap. I have no idea how long I rested, but I welcomed it. With the fourth contraction, I pushed, and Amelia was born. :) Our midwife had just recently broken her arm so she couldn't catch Amelia, and I remember her telling Tom, "Catch her!" It was amazing. It was done! I had just had a vaginal birth in my own home. I don't know who told me, but someone told me to reach down and hold my baby, which of course I did. 

Tom was so important to me in all of this. I had my apprehensions about how Tom would handle my labor, and he proved me wrong every which way. He did exactly what I asked him to. He constantly supported me through the whole thing. He made sure I knew how proud of me he was. This whole process changed my vision of him. I love him so much more. Our family has forever been changed because of this birth. I no longer have to fear pregnancy because of a c-section I had. I have proven that I am no broken. Tom has proven that he is here for me in every way he can be.